Golf ‘n Roll

Enough with the jungle, pirate and medieval themes for mini-golf courses. I promise you that someone will become very rich indeed if they build a Rock ‘n Roll themed franchise of golf courses.

What better way to share a classic game of touristy or birthday party miniature golf than by sharing rock and pop classics from the last 50 years? First, there needs to be music, and it should be rather loud. Now here are some ideas for holes:

Let me start with the final hole, number 18, Stairway to Heaven. You know what this one is going to look like. If you don’t make it up the stairway to the clouds to get your free game, guess where your ball is going to drop straight down to?

The major group themes should be present:

The Rolling Stones is a hole where you roll your ball down over a wall of stones, but first it has to go up and over a big tongue into the hole.

The Beach Boys hole has a water and sand feature, of course.

The Beatles should have not only a group theme but a couple of song-related holes as well. We need a ball to be hit off a rooftop, maybe into a diseased looking armchair. Maybe one set up to be hit into the hole of a Sgt. Peppery tuba. How about a Yellow Submarine that moves up and down so you have to hit over it when in goes under? A hole for the white album could be 100% white and smooth. Clearly, I could go on.

Thriller. Needs a graveyard, zombies, etc.

Purple Rain. we should have to sweep that one through a line of water and purple bead strings.

I’m not touching Like a Virgin. But for Vogue, you could have various arms angling up and out at different points along the green.

Old school needs to be represented. Jailhouse Rock, through the cell doors. Johnny B. Goode features a cabin made of earth and wood. Peppermint Twist would be a cool one. If you’re missing the traditional jungle golf theme, we can have a The Lion Sleeps Tonight hole. And remember we can always move into the Motown era for more mini-golf course traditions, like Tears of a Clown.

In fact, I’m thinking this needs to be a two-sided, 36-hole course. The Golden Age and the Classic Era. Because I don’t want to pick between the Everly Brothers and Cream, or The Supremes and Jimi Hendrix. I'll golf twice.

Between each hole, as we move along the Golf 'n Roll path to the next, have Walk This Way by Aerosmith playing behind the lighted arrows. And The Long and Winding Road. And These Boots Were Made for Walkin’. If we want someone to stop goofing around and putt already, we can press a button that plays The Waiting by Tom Petty, Waiting in Vain by Bob Marley, or…

Okay. Free Bird.

See what I mean? Expand on this idea for various genres, too. What about a crooners and swingers theme? Plus a Broadway/show tunes course is going to pull people in that have never dreamed of mini-golfing before in their life.

Gawd, somebody HAS to DO this one, am I right?