Superhero (or just as easily, Super Villain): Repello-Man. He is rubber you are glue, everything you say (or do) bounces off of him and stick to you. A foe says, "Take THAT, Repello-Man!!" and the boiling hot acid he dumps out of the vat over Repello-Man's head pours all over the acid-dumper himself. An enemy says, "Eat poop and die," and oopsies, said enemy suddenly keels over with a mouthful.
The softer qualities of this superhero (or, the female version, Backatcha Girl?) could include compliments paid and kindnesses offered. A cab driver doesn't run up her meter, and his next fare tips him double. Donald Trump tells her "Your hair looks nice like that," and suddenly he has a nice-looking hairdo. A dying Repello-Man says "Don't worry about me, save yourself!" and is not only saved himself, but doesn't have to worry about Backatcha Girl, either.
I'm sure having a reflective shield is probably already a super power, but this one is personal and direct. What goes around comes around right away, to the one who put it in play.
~~~~~~~~
Reoccurring skit character for SNL: Mr. Obvious. Just think about it. I probably don't have to explain more, but let me give you a couple examples anyway. Mr. Obvious is at an executive team meeting. The CFO reports that their fiscal year is closing soon, expenditures are way over budget and gross profits saw a 20% decrease last quarter. Anyone have any comments on that? Yes, Mr. Obvious, go ahead. "Well, that is bad news, gentlemen. We are spending too much money. We are making less many than we used to."
And that's it. Everyone just looks around at each other half nodding their head. Freeze on his furrowed brow and start the theme song. "When you're tired of clear opinions, when your sick of hearing things that are fresh and new, call on the man with none of the answers--He's Mr. Obvious... he hasn't got a clue."
Mr. and Mrs. Obvious would be a riot at a special occasion. Mr. Obvious says, look dear, the bride is crying. Mrs. Obvious sighs and smiles, "That's because there are tears coming out of her eyes."
The Obvious Family Reunion.... the black sheep, Dick, the Contradictory Cousin...
~~~~~~~~
Weekly Syndicated Column in sort of a personal humorous essay critique-y kind of style (As if Erma Bombeck and Andy Rooney had a female love child. Okay, eww. Still, it's a good idea, read on.):
Mommentary
That's right, it rhymes with Commentary, but it's written from a funny cranky mom's perspective. A little Roseanne, but it's real. Write it on universal, timely topics that make it worthy of space in the Sunday paper by the horoscopes and Miss Manners. Or, maybe it should go right in the Editorial section. Because cranky moms have a lot of good ideas. (I should know.) Like the need to end the cruelty inflicted by school supply shopping lists issued by elementary schools and their teachers. Fiskars indeed. HOW many boxes of tissue per child? Or what about so called "holidays" that force mothers into slave mall shopping labor, searching for the right color cell phone covers for teenagers who just a few months earlier said, "I wrote you poem for Mother's Day" or who say they were going to make you breakfast in bed, but you got up too early?
Some serious issues should be covered as well. A Mommentary on the presidential election: let's meet the candidates' mothers and hear what they have to say. Not so much, did they always know their baby could grow up to be president?, but more like, what did they do to these children, to cause them to become politicians? Things like that. Mommentaries.
That could turn into a SNL news feature, too. A little Roseanna Roseannadanna. (But naturally it could never be as funny. "We need more violins on TV!" If you're 30 or under you should rent a Best Of SNL dvd from the 70's to know what I'm talking about. )
Showing posts with label ideas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ideas. Show all posts
Friday, May 16, 2008
Monday, May 5, 2008
Golf ‘n Roll
Enough with the jungle, pirate and medieval themes for mini-golf courses. I promise you that someone will become very rich indeed if they build a Rock ‘n Roll themed franchise of golf courses.
What better way to share a classic game of touristy or birthday party miniature golf than by sharing rock and pop classics from the last 50 years? First, there needs to be music, and it should be rather loud. Now here are some ideas for holes:
Let me start with the final hole, number 18, Stairway to Heaven. You know what this one is going to look like. If you don’t make it up the stairway to the clouds to get your free game, guess where your ball is going to drop straight down to?
The major group themes should be present:
The Rolling Stones is a hole where you roll your ball down over a wall of stones, but first it has to go up and over a big tongue into the hole.
The Beach Boys hole has a water and sand feature, of course.
The Beatles should have not only a group theme but a couple of song-related holes as well. We need a ball to be hit off a rooftop, maybe into a diseased looking armchair. Maybe one set up to be hit into the hole of a Sgt. Peppery tuba. How about a Yellow Submarine that moves up and down so you have to hit over it when in goes under? A hole for the white album could be 100% white and smooth. Clearly, I could go on.
Thriller. Needs a graveyard, zombies, etc.
Purple Rain. we should have to sweep that one through a line of water and purple bead strings.
I’m not touching Like a Virgin. But for Vogue, you could have various arms angling up and out at different points along the green.
Old school needs to be represented. Jailhouse Rock, through the cell doors. Johnny B. Goode features a cabin made of earth and wood. Peppermint Twist would be a cool one. If you’re missing the traditional jungle golf theme, we can have a The Lion Sleeps Tonight hole. And remember we can always move into the Motown era for more mini-golf course traditions, like Tears of a Clown.
In fact, I’m thinking this needs to be a two-sided, 36-hole course. The Golden Age and the Classic Era. Because I don’t want to pick between the Everly Brothers and Cream, or The Supremes and Jimi Hendrix. I'll golf twice.
Between each hole, as we move along the Golf 'n Roll path to the next, have Walk This Way by Aerosmith playing behind the lighted arrows. And The Long and Winding Road. And These Boots Were Made for Walkin’. If we want someone to stop goofing around and putt already, we can press a button that plays The Waiting by Tom Petty, Waiting in Vain by Bob Marley, or…
Okay. Free Bird.
See what I mean? Expand on this idea for various genres, too. What about a crooners and swingers theme? Plus a Broadway/show tunes course is going to pull people in that have never dreamed of mini-golfing before in their life.
Gawd, somebody HAS to DO this one, am I right?
What better way to share a classic game of touristy or birthday party miniature golf than by sharing rock and pop classics from the last 50 years? First, there needs to be music, and it should be rather loud. Now here are some ideas for holes:
Let me start with the final hole, number 18, Stairway to Heaven. You know what this one is going to look like. If you don’t make it up the stairway to the clouds to get your free game, guess where your ball is going to drop straight down to?
The major group themes should be present:
The Rolling Stones is a hole where you roll your ball down over a wall of stones, but first it has to go up and over a big tongue into the hole.
The Beach Boys hole has a water and sand feature, of course.
The Beatles should have not only a group theme but a couple of song-related holes as well. We need a ball to be hit off a rooftop, maybe into a diseased looking armchair. Maybe one set up to be hit into the hole of a Sgt. Peppery tuba. How about a Yellow Submarine that moves up and down so you have to hit over it when in goes under? A hole for the white album could be 100% white and smooth. Clearly, I could go on.
Thriller. Needs a graveyard, zombies, etc.
Purple Rain. we should have to sweep that one through a line of water and purple bead strings.
I’m not touching Like a Virgin. But for Vogue, you could have various arms angling up and out at different points along the green.
Old school needs to be represented. Jailhouse Rock, through the cell doors. Johnny B. Goode features a cabin made of earth and wood. Peppermint Twist would be a cool one. If you’re missing the traditional jungle golf theme, we can have a The Lion Sleeps Tonight hole. And remember we can always move into the Motown era for more mini-golf course traditions, like Tears of a Clown.
In fact, I’m thinking this needs to be a two-sided, 36-hole course. The Golden Age and the Classic Era. Because I don’t want to pick between the Everly Brothers and Cream, or The Supremes and Jimi Hendrix. I'll golf twice.
Between each hole, as we move along the Golf 'n Roll path to the next, have Walk This Way by Aerosmith playing behind the lighted arrows. And The Long and Winding Road. And These Boots Were Made for Walkin’. If we want someone to stop goofing around and putt already, we can press a button that plays The Waiting by Tom Petty, Waiting in Vain by Bob Marley, or…
Okay. Free Bird.
See what I mean? Expand on this idea for various genres, too. What about a crooners and swingers theme? Plus a Broadway/show tunes course is going to pull people in that have never dreamed of mini-golfing before in their life.
Gawd, somebody HAS to DO this one, am I right?
Monday, April 7, 2008
Things That Should Be Easier Due to Technology
1. When you live in the same school district child after child, year after year, you shouldn't have to fill out the same paperwork over and over on your family or your child. You shouldn't have to submit the same information to each school for each child or each grade. Unless your information changes, you should just need to sign off on multiple copies of paperwork that verifies your address and phone and emergency contacts, as well as your child's physician and dentist and immunization records. People aren't suddenly cured of milk allergies and if you need access to an inhaler the nurse should know that for 3rd, 4th and 5th grade. The athletic department should be able to accept a copy of the emergency contact information you turned in to the student services offices--if they need to shrink it down to another size or format, it should be a school administrative thing, not a me filling out the same information on the same forms 6 times for three children thing. I know, I know. It's rare that my husband and I are still married and living in the same house with our children for so long. But get over it and give me our info. from last year to review and initial and return to you for your files.
2. I should be able to have a universal passcode for my computer, my websites, my cell phone, my banking, my gated community gate, my frequent buyer cards, etc. Okay, let me guess: does that sound dangerous to you? Like, if someone gets your passcode then all is lost; they have your complete identity and access to all the places you go and things you buy? Well, it seems they can have that pretty easily now, anyway, right? I mean, identity theft happens all the time. They try to put in security measures now, so can't someone do something more sophisticated along those lines? I think I should be able to have one passcode that is universally encrypted for everything. The encryption should keep changing--but I shouldn't have to do anything different. There could be any number of encrypting programs out there for commercial use by all these places wishing to protect me. All codes are at risk of being cracked, so why can't I memorize one Matrix thread and be done with it? Instead, I need four self-selected numbers for my voicemail, four randomly assigned numbers for the credit card PIN, at least five characters plus one number for a password, the right cases and no more than 8 characters for another password, and blah blah number number Blah. Someone could fix that.
3. Digital photo storage/albums. After so many cameras and software programs, with so many people here using the photos files, it occurs to me there should be one easy way to make all those albums on our computer user-friendly. Like my real photo albums are. Look what they've done in the area of income tax filing. That's how uploading, viewing and organizing new photos should go, right? TurboPhoto. Someone get on that.
2. I should be able to have a universal passcode for my computer, my websites, my cell phone, my banking, my gated community gate, my frequent buyer cards, etc. Okay, let me guess: does that sound dangerous to you? Like, if someone gets your passcode then all is lost; they have your complete identity and access to all the places you go and things you buy? Well, it seems they can have that pretty easily now, anyway, right? I mean, identity theft happens all the time. They try to put in security measures now, so can't someone do something more sophisticated along those lines? I think I should be able to have one passcode that is universally encrypted for everything. The encryption should keep changing--but I shouldn't have to do anything different. There could be any number of encrypting programs out there for commercial use by all these places wishing to protect me. All codes are at risk of being cracked, so why can't I memorize one Matrix thread and be done with it? Instead, I need four self-selected numbers for my voicemail, four randomly assigned numbers for the credit card PIN, at least five characters plus one number for a password, the right cases and no more than 8 characters for another password, and blah blah number number Blah. Someone could fix that.
3. Digital photo storage/albums. After so many cameras and software programs, with so many people here using the photos files, it occurs to me there should be one easy way to make all those albums on our computer user-friendly. Like my real photo albums are. Look what they've done in the area of income tax filing. That's how uploading, viewing and organizing new photos should go, right? TurboPhoto. Someone get on that.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Dibs on This One
Hi. Thanks for popping in! I'm excited. I started this blog today in order to manage a project based on an idea that's been entertaining and inspiring me for about 20 years. An idea with that kind of lasting power, in my mind, must be a big one. Cuz I'm a girl who has had an awful lot of ideas coming in and out in and out, all the time. Based on longevity and perseverance alone, I figure this one is true love, and it's mine. My big idea.
My big idea is to give away all of my other ideas, so they can perhaps do someone else some good. I'm referring to all these ideas I always seemed to be blessed/cursed with, no matter how unrelated they are to my life, my capabilities, my talents. Ideas that might really fly, if they could be taken up by someone with the right tools, or contacts...enough money, or time...proper knowledge or finances. More energy or more courage. Fewer debts or fewer fears. Someone who is waiting, ready. Bored, even. Whatever. I kinda want to do a Rodney Dangerfield thing here. You know, "Take my ideas, please."
I want to make it clear that I am pursuing this project with pure, honest intentions, but this is not an entirely altruistic undertaking, either. While there are no tangible profits to be gained, no products to advertise, etc., I do stand to gain something wonderful, something huge, via this project. I want to give away all these ideas so I can be rid of them. It's not that they're bad, but they do take up a lot of space in my psyche, you know?
So many ideas, lurking in the shadows, down the dark corridor under the sign that says:
"The Hall of No Return. For What May Never See the Light of Day."
Okay. That was a little dramatic. But I seriously believe everyone is connected and every action exists in a place and a way that matters somehow, to someone, and therefore, to others. It's difficult to believe all this, and then at the same time be blessed/cursed with ideas that just sit there, unable to connect anyone or exist in a place or a way that matters.
So, no, this project isn't selfless.
(It's not a cheap trick, either, but) I want you to want my ideas.
To finish up the background, my big idea started out as just some ideas, followed by a few failed attempts at putting my ideas into action. But I kept them nonetheless. It seemed like they were good ideas, just not good for me. Time and life marched on and the ideas kept coming. I kept notes and told a few people and heard a lot of, "You know what? That's a fantastic idea!" until one day many years ago, I said to my husband, "What the hell am I ever going to do with all these ideas? I should just give them away."
At first that idea was more along the lines of a newspaper column that would feature my ideas. Then it became an idea for a whole book--wait, a series of books, a new one to be published every other year or so, like a published idea market. Several years later, it became an silly idea about getting on Oprah and having a contest for people to bid on the rights to my ideas and give the proceeds to charity. (Don't worry, that particular idea isn't indicative of the quality of the other ideas comprising this project. It's just that I'm honest about my Oprah dreams.)
Years later it became an idea about a website, where people would try to win chances to snap up my ideas with essay contests about what they would do with them. Then along came blogs, and now a few years later, I've started one today, after looking into a site called 52 Projects where plenty of productive, inspired people frequent. I saw a link there, that asked What's Your Project? and as I tried to write a few words on this big idea of mine, I thought, "Geez. I really should have my own blog. Like the 52 Projects author, Jeffrey Yamaguchi, did. A space where these ideas could be posted and shared for free, and just maybe acted upon by someone who needs an idea such as one of mine." I have long thought-talks with myself like that.
Free blog + free ideas = freeing storage space in Faith's mind. Plus maybe something awesome for someone else who connects with one idea, and makes it matter in their life, in the world.
Post number 2 will offer the first I decided to share.
P.S. I was thinking, people could read this blog not only for ideas they can use, but to follow up on what other people do with ideas. So, if you decide to take an idea, would you mind commenting on that, perhaps telling us a bit about how you'll proceed or why you're inspired? That would be cool--open adoptions for these ideas--wouldn't it?
My big idea is to give away all of my other ideas, so they can perhaps do someone else some good. I'm referring to all these ideas I always seemed to be blessed/cursed with, no matter how unrelated they are to my life, my capabilities, my talents. Ideas that might really fly, if they could be taken up by someone with the right tools, or contacts...enough money, or time...proper knowledge or finances. More energy or more courage. Fewer debts or fewer fears. Someone who is waiting, ready. Bored, even. Whatever. I kinda want to do a Rodney Dangerfield thing here. You know, "Take my ideas, please."
I want to make it clear that I am pursuing this project with pure, honest intentions, but this is not an entirely altruistic undertaking, either. While there are no tangible profits to be gained, no products to advertise, etc., I do stand to gain something wonderful, something huge, via this project. I want to give away all these ideas so I can be rid of them. It's not that they're bad, but they do take up a lot of space in my psyche, you know?
So many ideas, lurking in the shadows, down the dark corridor under the sign that says:
"The Hall of No Return. For What May Never See the Light of Day."
Okay. That was a little dramatic. But I seriously believe everyone is connected and every action exists in a place and a way that matters somehow, to someone, and therefore, to others. It's difficult to believe all this, and then at the same time be blessed/cursed with ideas that just sit there, unable to connect anyone or exist in a place or a way that matters.
So, no, this project isn't selfless.
(It's not a cheap trick, either, but) I want you to want my ideas.
To finish up the background, my big idea started out as just some ideas, followed by a few failed attempts at putting my ideas into action. But I kept them nonetheless. It seemed like they were good ideas, just not good for me. Time and life marched on and the ideas kept coming. I kept notes and told a few people and heard a lot of, "You know what? That's a fantastic idea!" until one day many years ago, I said to my husband, "What the hell am I ever going to do with all these ideas? I should just give them away."
At first that idea was more along the lines of a newspaper column that would feature my ideas. Then it became an idea for a whole book--wait, a series of books, a new one to be published every other year or so, like a published idea market. Several years later, it became an silly idea about getting on Oprah and having a contest for people to bid on the rights to my ideas and give the proceeds to charity. (Don't worry, that particular idea isn't indicative of the quality of the other ideas comprising this project. It's just that I'm honest about my Oprah dreams.)
Years later it became an idea about a website, where people would try to win chances to snap up my ideas with essay contests about what they would do with them. Then along came blogs, and now a few years later, I've started one today, after looking into a site called 52 Projects where plenty of productive, inspired people frequent. I saw a link there, that asked What's Your Project? and as I tried to write a few words on this big idea of mine, I thought, "Geez. I really should have my own blog. Like the 52 Projects author, Jeffrey Yamaguchi, did. A space where these ideas could be posted and shared for free, and just maybe acted upon by someone who needs an idea such as one of mine." I have long thought-talks with myself like that.
Free blog + free ideas = freeing storage space in Faith's mind. Plus maybe something awesome for someone else who connects with one idea, and makes it matter in their life, in the world.
Post number 2 will offer the first I decided to share.
P.S. I was thinking, people could read this blog not only for ideas they can use, but to follow up on what other people do with ideas. So, if you decide to take an idea, would you mind commenting on that, perhaps telling us a bit about how you'll proceed or why you're inspired? That would be cool--open adoptions for these ideas--wouldn't it?
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